5 Ways to Handle Misbehavior
Posted by wagardner - 29/04/08 at 06:04:02 amThe following comes from the Church Bus News letter and I hope you will read it and learn from it. I recommend this site very highly. If we work with people we will constantly be dealing with problems but that is our ministry. Read and learn and recommend it to others.
By Bro. Kevin Spears
1. Make the Rules Known & Clear
A lot of misbehavior occurs because the rules are not made clear. A statement like this is usually made when rules are not made known, “Don’t you know that is against the rules to climb over the seats!?” Don’t give a long list of rules that have subpoints and fine print. Rules that are short and to the point can be very effective rules. Repetition is an important key in making the rules known. On church buses, riders often come from homes that are void of proper child rearing and character building. In this type of environment, it is very important that you use repetition.
2. Encourage Good Behavior
The best way to combat bad behavior is to encourage good behavior. Often we say, “If you don’t behave I am going to take this away,” or use some other negative form of punishment. There are times for this type of statement, but I am of the persuasion that encouraging good behavior is a far better method of handling misbehavior. It is amazing what a child will do for recognition and rewards! The same is true with adults. Everyone enjoys being recognized for hard work or being rewarded for a job well done. Let’s carry that principle over to the children that we are working with.
3. Deal With Misbehavior Immediately
While the punishment might not come immediately in some cases, misbehavior should be dealt with immediately. Just like anything else, there is balance in this area. Most misbehavior should be dealt with immediately. Of course, there are situations that you cannot handle immediately. Give the consequence of breaking the rules to the child. If you have a rule that says if you break the rules, you get one warning and then you get moved to the front of the bus. Don’t keep saying, “I am going to move you to the front if you don’t stop that!” Children are smart and they know what they can get away with. Be firm and consistent! If you say you are going to move them to the front if they misbehave one more time and they misbehave, to the front they go!
4. Involve the Parent(s), Grandparent(s), or Guardian(s)
It is important to involve the child’s authority in the matter of handling misbehavior. While it is true that many parents, grandparents, and/or guardians do not administer proper training and discipline, you should want them to see that you are taking care of the children on the bus. Encourage parents to come to church and see what is taking place in the bus ministry. It not only gives you an opportunity to get them in church, but it also adds credibility to the teaching you are giving their child(ren). Developing a relationship with the parents will only benefit you and your route. Try to keep in close contact with the parents on your route. When their child(ren) does misbehave, they know that you will involve them in the situation, and that you can handle the problem properly.
5. Forbid Misbehavior
Patience and tolerance are two different things. Patience involves growth and teaching, whereas tolerance involves disobedience and acceptance of it. Never tolerate misbehavior, but also give room for growth. Let me give you an example. Johnny Doe is going to ride your bus for the first time this weekend. He gets on the bus, and he is the worst one on the bus. I mean he is tearing up your bus program, he is rapping when you are trying to sing, “Jesus Loves Me”, and so on. Do not tolerate this misbehavior but give him a little more leeway than one of the other kids that have been riding the bus for a year. Do not yell at him or call out his name every time he misbehaves. Instead of doing that, give the set of rules for your bus. You might even go over the rules a couple of times and give the kids a chance to win a piece of candy for remembering the rules. When you ask the kids the rules, call on Johnny Doe to allow him to recognize what the rules are but also to win a piece of candy. I have seen many buses with kids crawling all over the place, doing whatever pleases them. This type of environment hinders teaching the children and causes more misbehavior. Yes, be patient, but do not allow willful disobedience.
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