Condemned
Posted by wagardner - 16/04/08 at 09:04:44 pmThe Tico pulled up to the curb adjacent from the Cemetery General. The young man in the back looked into the front gate, seeing the countless graves full of empty bodies. He exited the car, paid the driver, and walked in between the two large black gates, swung open for visitors.
Teil’s mind moved from thought to thought like a game piece on a very confused board game. He had come to Peru because he thought it would be cool to see another continent, and see what life was like for people in a third world country. He had come because it was better than sitting at home and listening to music in his room for a week before school started. It was something better to do: a mission’s trip.
He began to think as he made his way up the white gravel road in the center of the Cemetery.
Man, this was just supposed to be a mission’s trip with some friends. I’m not called to do anything like this.
Man, I don’t even care about this stuff.
He only spoke those word to himself to appease his conscience. He knew that something had happened inside of him, but he was not willing to accept it. He had come for a fun trip with some friends, not expecting to hear from God.
Why now? He thought. I didn’t feel or hear anything when I was at home. Why now do all these question enter my mind?
Teil never tried to be special, but despite his best efforts, he always seemed to stick out of the crowd. Sure, he dressed like everyone else, but he never thought the same. The words he was speaking to himself now were lies.
He had always thought about the world and how they all lived in darkness. He wondered if God would let them all go to hell; he wondered if he just left them alone they would not be held accountable.
Maybe, he wondered, if I just pretend they are not there, it will all go away. The only difference here is that all his escape routes were destroyed and he was faced with facts he could no refute. The earth is lost, and it is his job to do something about it.
He continued his walk through the Cemetery in Peru, thinking of the people inside the tombs.
All these people inside these tombs are truly dead. How sad. All the people in our church graveyard, as far as I know, are saved and still alive. These people are dead once from their painful physical life and now a second death in the lake of fire. There is only death around me.
These people that walk past me, speaking a different language are all dead, yet I’m alive. How is that fair?
How can I do this?
These painful thoughts had been accruing to him the entire trip, but none hit as hard as they did in this cemetery. That is why he decided to sneak off from the group and find a place to think. And that place ended up being the Cemetery.
The air of the place felt thicker than the rest of the city, and the graves structures towered above as a reminder that the dead live here and they can never leave.
That they are trapped in an eternity of physical entombment and spiritual torture because no one would come to tell them that Christ died for them. Those thoughts exploded in his head, echoing off each side.
All these things that I have heard and seen since I have been here, why change now? My life is set and I can just support these people. I… I can’t go. I’m too young to do this.
The gravel crunched beneath his feet and the pale sky gleamed upon him, creating a somber
place for thought.
Everywhere around him the statue of Mother Mary and her Son stood tall as a reminder that superstition and culture reign. The cold air wrapped around him and the stench of death that did not exist touched his nose. He sensed that the world around him was dying, but that it was not just the immediate area but also the entire world.
He began to notice and realize a reality that he had never seen before. The strong breeze carried words in them. Soft and gentle, they floated by. He had never noticed them before.
The words passed by his ears like the touch of a whispers breath, caressing his ear.
Condemned
The word, repeating, began to dash at him like a horde of scared people, running from a diesis that could not be cured. He knew the world would never be the same to him.
At that point in time, he walked through the middle of the world; every child, every person he passed was now dressed in black with the word, “condemned” written in blood on their foreheads. They passed him by in droves, looking for something in this world that they cannot find. A light in their life that tries to ignite but is put out by a splash of water that is the world. They walk in a pain that will never release until they do. A pact made in their soul with their enemy that has never been named. They wish every day for the one thing they will never accept. And now, Teil realized that the only option in his life was to give it all up, grow up, and go.
The wind stopped and the dust settled as he made his way to the temple in the middle of the cemetery, kneeled to the ground, felt the pain of the gravel scraping against his skin, and prayed with a tear for every word.
“ Dear God.” He began like it was a letter written to his Father. “ I am sorry for my life and how I have spent it.
I am and was going to waste my life doing something that would never matter in this world or in eternity. You are the sole purpose for life. You are my existence, why haven’t I given it all to You? I now stand.” The young man stood to his feet with trails of tears on his face. “My new life has to begin somewhere, and there is no better time… than now.”
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