5 Ways to Handle Misbehavior
Posted by wagardner - 29/04/08 at 06:04:02 amThe following comes from the Church Bus News letter and I hope you will read it and learn from it. I recommend this site very highly. If we work with people we will constantly be dealing with problems but that is our ministry. Read and learn and recommend it to others.
By Bro. Kevin Spears
1. Make the Rules Known & Clear
A lot of misbehavior occurs because the rules are not made clear. A statement like this is usually made when rules are not made known, “Don’t you know that is against the rules to climb over the seats!?” Don’t give a long list of rules that have subpoints and fine print. Rules that are short and to the point can be very effective rules. Repetition is an important key in making the rules known. On church buses, riders often come from homes that are void of proper child rearing and character building. In this type of environment, it is very important that you use repetition.
2. Encourage Good Behavior
The best way to combat bad behavior is to encourage good behavior. Often we say, “If you don’t behave I am going to take this away,” or use some other negative form of punishment. There are times for this type of statement, but I am of the persuasion that encouraging good behavior is a far better method of handling misbehavior. It is amazing what a child will do for recognition and rewards! The same is true with adults. Everyone enjoys being recognized for hard work or being rewarded for a job well done. Let’s carry that principle over to the children that we are working with.
3. Deal With Misbehavior Immediately
While the punishment might not come immediately in some cases, misbehavior should be dealt with immediately. Just like anything else, there is balance in this area. Most misbehavior should be dealt with immediately. Of course, there are situations that you cannot handle immediately. Give the consequence of breaking the rules to the child. If you have a rule that says if you break the rules, you get one warning and then you get moved to the front of the bus. Don’t keep saying, “I am going to move you to the front if you don’t stop that!” Children are smart and they know what they can get away with. Be firm and consistent! If you say you are going to move them to the front if they misbehave one more time and they misbehave, to the front they go!
4. Involve the Parent(s), Grandparent(s), or Guardian(s)
It is important to involve the child’s authority in the matter of handling misbehavior. While it is true that many parents, grandparents, and/or guardians do not administer proper training and discipline, you should want them to see that you are taking care of the children on the bus. Encourage parents to come to church and see what is taking place in the bus ministry. It not only gives you an opportunity to get them in church, but it also adds credibility to the teaching you are giving their child(ren). Developing a relationship with the parents will only benefit you and your route. Try to keep in close contact with the parents on your route. When their child(ren) does misbehave, they know that you will involve them in the situation, and that you can handle the problem properly.
5. Forbid Misbehavior
Patience and tolerance are two different things. Patience involves growth and teaching, whereas tolerance involves disobedience and acceptance of it. Never tolerate misbehavior, but also give room for growth. Let me give you an example. Johnny Doe is going to ride your bus for the first time this weekend. He gets on the bus, and he is the worst one on the bus. I mean he is tearing up your bus program, he is rapping when you are trying to sing, “Jesus Loves Me”, and so on. Do not tolerate this misbehavior but give him a little more leeway than one of the other kids that have been riding the bus for a year. Do not yell at him or call out his name every time he misbehaves. Instead of doing that, give the set of rules for your bus. You might even go over the rules a couple of times and give the kids a chance to win a piece of candy for remembering the rules. When you ask the kids the rules, call on Johnny Doe to allow him to recognize what the rules are but also to win a piece of candy. I have seen many buses with kids crawling all over the place, doing whatever pleases them. This type of environment hinders teaching the children and causes more misbehavior. Yes, be patient, but do not allow willful disobedience.
Trusting God
Posted by wagardner - 28/04/08 at 09:04:43 amThe Lord sends upon us the evil as well as the good of this mortal life; His is the sun that cheers and the frost that chills; His the deep calm and the fierce tornado. To dwell on second causes is frequently frivolous, a sort of solemn trifling. Men say of each affliction, “It might have been prevented if so-and-so had occurred.” Perhaps if another physician had been called in, the dear child’s life would have been spared; possibly if I had moved in such a direction in business, I might not have been a loser.
Who is to judge what might have been? In endless conjectures we are lost, and crue to ourselves, we gather material for unnecessary griefs. Matters happened not so; then why conjecture what would have been had things been different? It is folly. We grow indignant with the more immediate agent of our grief, and fail to submit ourselves to God.
As long as I trace my pain to accident, my bereavement to mistake, my loss to another’s wrong, my discomfort to an enemy, and so on, I am of the earth, earthly; but when I rise to my God and see His Hand at work, I grow calm; I have not a word of repining, “I opened not my mouth; because Thou didst it” (Psalm 39:9, KJV). “Cast thy burden on the Lord” is a precept that will be easy to practice when you see that the burden came originally from God.
(Charles Spurgeon, At the Master’s Feet, April 25)
Identifying Marks of Backsliding
Posted by wagardner - 28/04/08 at 08:04:02 amI thought the following post had some very good points and wanted to get you to read it. You can click on the link above of the author to get the original. I have put in bold some parts that I really want to call your attention to:
In this post, I’d like to note that there are several identifying marks that make known a backslidden condition…and here they are:
1. There’s a Loss of Heavenly Values
-When the excitement and thrill of Bible truth grows weak…
-When worldly pleasures take hold and claim our interest and time…
-When the Bible gets dull…
-When prayer is commonplace…
-When church attendance isn’t that important…
-When taking a stand for Christ is too hard…
These are identifying marks of a backslidden condition! Remember when, for example, you “used to” talk about what you read in God’s Word? Now…you avoid conversation with others about personal devotion and the Scriptures…why’s that?
2. There’s a Loss of Conviction of Sin
When I was growing up, my mother tended bar. Every morning as we went to school, we’d stop in to see her [Where I lived, bars opened in the morning for the night-shift guys]. Anyway, when we would pop in to see her before the bus stop, we would be given gum, Slim Jims, and occasionally even a soda pop. Now we would only be there for a few minutes, but when we stepped out of the bar we couldn’t help but notice how bright the outside was! Just in that short time, our eyes adjusted to the darkness in the bar.
What’s the lesson here? The closer we get to sin, the less we see anything wrong with it! The more we become adjusted to it, the more we lose our conviction. That’s an identifying mark of a backslidden condition!
3. Laziness in Service
A tombstone in an old graveyard stated “Here rests John Brown. That is all he ever did.” Another reads:
Here lies a man who did no good, Had many chances, but never he would.
Where he’s gone and how he fares, Nobody knows–and nobody cares.
Remember you used to care what you did and didn’t do for God? Has there been a retreat in your life from God’s service? That would be an identifying mark of a backslidden condition!
4. Putting people’s word ahead of God’s Word
Some have become more persuaded by the opinion and advice of others rather than the clear teaching of the Bible. I’d rather trust in what God says than in what the news says…or the History Channel!
I know of someone who gets her “theology” from the History Channel! Anytime something on Christ or the Bible is on that channel – I hear about it…and most every time what I hear is inaccurate and just not true! The History Channel DOES NOT correct the Bible! Their word cannot be placed above God’s Holy Word! Unfortunately today, the Bible is not read and studied consistently, and therefore many have a hard time discerning what they watch and what others say. For the Christian, that’s an identifying mark of a backslidden condition!
Now these are just some identifying marks of backsliding…but what causes the backsliding? Please forgive my repetition from my last post, but in a word - SIN! Sin is the #1 cause of backsliding. For the Christian, sin falls into 1 of 2 categories:
1. sins of omission – is not doing what we should do
2. sins of commission – is doing something we should not do
Let me just “throw out” to you some sins of omission:
-Not making a faithful commitment to church attendance
-Not reading your Bible
-Prayerlessness
-Choosing not to tithe and offer
-Declining to serve God
-Not giving forgiveness or making things right with someone when God tells you that you should
Now let me give you some sins of commission:
-Evil thinking
-Worldly attitude and rebellion
-Bitterness
-Self-centeredness
-Gossip
-Disobeying God’s Word
Sin will take you further than you want to go…
Sin will give you much more than you want to know…
Sin will leave you longer than you want to stay…
Sin will cost you far more than you want to pay…
SIN - #1 cause of backsliding – makes you retreat from God - makes you backslide!
Politically Correct you say!
Posted by wagardner - 26/04/08 at 11:04:52 amen are perishing, and if it be unpolite to tell them so, it can only be so where the devil is the master of the ceremonies.
Out upon your soul-destroying politeness; the Lord give us a little honest love to souls, and this superficial gentility will soon vanish. I could with considerable refreshment to myself pour sarcasm after sarcasm upon religious cowardice. I would cheerfully sharpen my knife and dash it into the heart of this mean vice. There is nothing to be said in its favor.
It is not even humble; it is only pride of too beggarly a sort to own itself.
Charles Spurgeon
Missing the blessing!
Posted by wagardner - 21/04/08 at 08:04:16 amAuthor unknown, copied
A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man’s name embossed in gold. Angry, he raised his voice to his father and said “with all your money you give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things. When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father’s important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt.7:11, “And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven, give to those who ask Him?” As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL. How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
The business of the church
Posted by wagardner - 17/04/08 at 05:04:58 pmA friend sent me the following in an email about 3 years ago. I thought it might make for good reading for all of us!
I will be proposing these at the next business meeting of the church.
1. What is our church’s strategy to reach our area and the world.
2. What is our overall strategy to train sunday school teachers in doctrine and class methods.
3. What steps are we going to take to create evangelistic enthusiasm at the church.
4. Will we create a strategic group to plan church business (the great commission) and how to become a discipling chuch.
5. What steps can we take to raise the commitment culture in our church.
Condemned
Posted by wagardner - 16/04/08 at 09:04:44 pmThe Tico pulled up to the curb adjacent from the Cemetery General. The young man in the back looked into the front gate, seeing the countless graves full of empty bodies. He exited the car, paid the driver, and walked in between the two large black gates, swung open for visitors.
Teil’s mind moved from thought to thought like a game piece on a very confused board game. He had come to Peru because he thought it would be cool to see another continent, and see what life was like for people in a third world country. He had come because it was better than sitting at home and listening to music in his room for a week before school started. It was something better to do: a mission’s trip.
He began to think as he made his way up the white gravel road in the center of the Cemetery.
Man, this was just supposed to be a mission’s trip with some friends. I’m not called to do anything like this.
Man, I don’t even care about this stuff.
He only spoke those word to himself to appease his conscience. He knew that something had happened inside of him, but he was not willing to accept it. He had come for a fun trip with some friends, not expecting to hear from God.
Why now? He thought. I didn’t feel or hear anything when I was at home. Why now do all these question enter my mind?
Teil never tried to be special, but despite his best efforts, he always seemed to stick out of the crowd. Sure, he dressed like everyone else, but he never thought the same. The words he was speaking to himself now were lies.
He had always thought about the world and how they all lived in darkness. He wondered if God would let them all go to hell; he wondered if he just left them alone they would not be held accountable.
Maybe, he wondered, if I just pretend they are not there, it will all go away. The only difference here is that all his escape routes were destroyed and he was faced with facts he could no refute. The earth is lost, and it is his job to do something about it.
He continued his walk through the Cemetery in Peru, thinking of the people inside the tombs.
All these people inside these tombs are truly dead. How sad. All the people in our church graveyard, as far as I know, are saved and still alive. These people are dead once from their painful physical life and now a second death in the lake of fire. There is only death around me.
These people that walk past me, speaking a different language are all dead, yet I’m alive. How is that fair?
How can I do this?
These painful thoughts had been accruing to him the entire trip, but none hit as hard as they did in this cemetery. That is why he decided to sneak off from the group and find a place to think. And that place ended up being the Cemetery.
The air of the place felt thicker than the rest of the city, and the graves structures towered above as a reminder that the dead live here and they can never leave.
That they are trapped in an eternity of physical entombment and spiritual torture because no one would come to tell them that Christ died for them. Those thoughts exploded in his head, echoing off each side.
All these things that I have heard and seen since I have been here, why change now? My life is set and I can just support these people. I… I can’t go. I’m too young to do this.
The gravel crunched beneath his feet and the pale sky gleamed upon him, creating a somber
place for thought.
Everywhere around him the statue of Mother Mary and her Son stood tall as a reminder that superstition and culture reign. The cold air wrapped around him and the stench of death that did not exist touched his nose. He sensed that the world around him was dying, but that it was not just the immediate area but also the entire world.
He began to notice and realize a reality that he had never seen before. The strong breeze carried words in them. Soft and gentle, they floated by. He had never noticed them before.
The words passed by his ears like the touch of a whispers breath, caressing his ear.
Condemned
The word, repeating, began to dash at him like a horde of scared people, running from a diesis that could not be cured. He knew the world would never be the same to him.
At that point in time, he walked through the middle of the world; every child, every person he passed was now dressed in black with the word, “condemned” written in blood on their foreheads. They passed him by in droves, looking for something in this world that they cannot find. A light in their life that tries to ignite but is put out by a splash of water that is the world. They walk in a pain that will never release until they do. A pact made in their soul with their enemy that has never been named. They wish every day for the one thing they will never accept. And now, Teil realized that the only option in his life was to give it all up, grow up, and go.
The wind stopped and the dust settled as he made his way to the temple in the middle of the cemetery, kneeled to the ground, felt the pain of the gravel scraping against his skin, and prayed with a tear for every word.
“ Dear God.” He began like it was a letter written to his Father. “ I am sorry for my life and how I have spent it.
I am and was going to waste my life doing something that would never matter in this world or in eternity. You are the sole purpose for life. You are my existence, why haven’t I given it all to You? I now stand.” The young man stood to his feet with trails of tears on his face. “My new life has to begin somewhere, and there is no better time… than now.”
Glory in the Cross
Posted by wagardner - 12/04/08 at 03:04:11 pmNow, dear Christian friends, if you keep to the cross of Christ you must expect to have this for your portion. The world will be crucified to you, and you will be crucified to the world. You will get the cold shoulder. Old friends will become open foes. They will begin to hate you more than they loved you before. At home your foes will be the men of your own household. You will hardly be able to do anything right. When you joined in their revels you were a fine fellow; when you could drink, and sing a lascivious song, you were a jolly good fellow; but now they rate you as a fool; they scout you as a hypocrite; and slanderously blacken your character. Let their dislike be a badge of your discipleship, and say, “Now also the world is crucified to me, and I unto the world. Whatever the world says against me for Christ’s sake is the maundering of a doomed malefactor, and what do I care for that? And, on the other hand, if I be rejected and despised, I am only taking what I always expectedmy crucifixionin my poor, humble way, after the manner of Christ himself, who was despised and rejected of men.”
The moral and the lesson of it all is this: Whatever comes of it, still glory in Christ. Go in for this, dear friends, that whether ye be in honor or in dishonor, in good report or in evil report, whether God multiply your substance and make you rich, or diminish it and make you poor, you will still glory in the cross of Christ. If you have health, and strength and vigor to work for him, or if you have to lie upon a bed of languishing and bear in patience all your heavenly Father’s will, resolve that you will still glory in the cross. Let this be the point of your glorying throughout your lives. Go down the steeps of Jordan, and go through Jordan itself, still glorying in the cross, for in the heaven of glory you will find that the blood-bought hosts celebrate the cross as the trophy of their redemption.
Charles Spurgeon
THE WRITING PROCESS
Posted by wagardner - 05/04/08 at 05:04:51 pmI was going through files on my computer and found the following. I know that I wanted it for me and thought that you might also find it helpful. I copied this on to my pocket pc somewhere along the way.
1. Prewriting
- think about it
consider who will read it & why
form ideas
discuss ideas with others
read & observe
gather & record information
brainstorm a list of words & thoughts
think about what you want to say
plan how you will say it
2. Drafting - Write it down
organize your thoughts
choose ideas & develop them
sequence what you want to say
write a first draft
have others read it & offer suggestions
3. Revising - Make it better
read what you wrote
think about what others said
rearrange words or ideas
add or take out parts
change words or ideas to better ones
complete any unfinished thoughts
replace overused or unclear words
4. Proofreading - Make it correct
make sure all sentences are complete
check spelling, capitalization, & punctuation
look for words not used correctly
mark corrections needed
have someone check your work
recopy it correctly & neatly
5. Publishing - share it with others
read it aloud to a person or group
bind it in a book
record it on tape
display it for others to see
talk it over with someone
illustrate it, perform it, or set it to music
make it a part of a personal collection of your work
By Frank Schaffer Publications 1991
10 Factors for Higher Attendance in Church Plants
Posted by wagardner - 05/04/08 at 09:04:32 amSee if you can help me work on these things at Vision Baptist.
by Ed Stetzer and Phillip Connor
(Part 3 of the Church Planting Survivability and Health Study)
Part One, Part Two, Part Four, Part Five (Full Report)
Why do some church plants experience higher attendance while others struggle to attract people? Are there commonalities among those with higher than average attendance that can be replicated in different settings? A recent study by the Center for Missional Research of twelve denominations or networks provides the answer as a resounding “yes.” With over 1,000 church plants contacted and more than 500 completed interviews, the study indicates that vibrant, growing church plants share certain characteristics.
These factors associated with higher attendance in church plants are based on the combined four-year mean (average) attendance of church plants. Many of the churches did the same things—”shared Christ,” had worship services; but when more than 100 factors were analyzed, the following ten categories proved to be the best predictors for higher worship attendance when compared to church plants at or below the average church plant attendance.
The Location Factor
Where the church plant began has an impact on its ability to grow. Church plants that begin in school facilities have some obvious benefits, such as visibility, access, parking, and classroom/worship space. Add to these the relatively low costs usually incurred, and schools can be a distinct advantage.
Longer-term—after the first year—church plants meeting in both schools and movie theaters exhibit higher attendance. They find these locations conducive to reaching people and accommodating continued growth.
The Ministry Factor
Special children’s events such as a fall festival or Easter egg hunt help church plants gain and sustain attendance. New churches with high attendance know that reaching children is one effective way to reach families. These church plants also conduct block parties as an evangelistic outreach. They use holidays or other opportunities to attract people and to be attractive to those who are already attending.
The Promotion Factor
An effective way to build attendance is to let others in the community know what’s going on in your church, what you offer, and why you’re there. Though this is important for any church, it’s critical for church plants. It helps establish your presence and purpose from the start.
High attendance church plants mail invitations to services, programs, and events. They keep community awareness high, which keeps their visitors, attendees, and members involved and informed.
The Training Factor
Church plants that experience the best attendance results provide training for new members and communicate clearly the expectation that they participate. They use this time to help new members better understand the Christian faith, know the organization and culture of the church, and learn how they can identify and use their gifts and find a place to serve.
The Expectations Factor
These church plants also require new members to sign a church covenant. They know that it’s imperative for new members to take their commitment to the church seriously as soon as they’ve committed their lives to Christ. Though some elements of the covenant may differ from one church plant to another, core beliefs, character, and conduct would not differ.
The Financial Factor
Those who attract more people are very intentional about financial stewardship. They see it as an integral part of the Christian life and necessary for personal growth. As these churches develop stewards, they also develop their church and become self-sufficient.
The planters in churches with higher attendance receive financial compensation, allowing them to focus on the church’s growth, not their own basic needs. They also receive health insurance and most of the premiums are paid for by the church plant, the sponsoring church, or the denomination.
The Staff Factor
Higher attendance churches have planters who’ve been assessed for their suitability. They also have multiple staff, facilitating steady and more sustainable growth. These staff members are part of the church plant from the beginning. Though other staff may be (and usually are) added as growth requires it, the most successful church plants do not start out under-staffed.
Another characteristic of higher attendance church plants underscores the need for adequate staffing. Their planters are full-time, not part- or half-time. All of this indicates that limiting staff limits potential for numeric growth.
The Missions Factor
It’s interesting to note that higher attendance church plants don’t just consider their own needs. They look for missional opportunities and start at least one church within three years of their own plant. This mindset generally permeates both the church plants and their daughter churches. Although it is often a step of faith to release church members to start a new church, our study seems to demonstrate that God replaces those sent out and even adds more to the number.
The Leadership Factor
Leadership is taken seriously. Church plants that experience higher attendance conduct leadership training, build their leadership base, and delegate leadership roles to church members. This is an ongoing process from the time of the plant throughout its lifetime. It’s not left to chance or to personal initiative.
The Achievement Factor
Finally, the church planters’ expectations are realized to a large degree. They have a vision of what God wants to do, and they don’t get distracted from the accomplishment of that vision. Because of this focus, they achieve greater results and find greater satisfaction.
Conclusion
Although the spiritual growth of the individual and the new church is extremely important to the Lord, numbers also matter (see 2 Peter 3:9). Most church growth texts would conclude that the preceding factors will not only grow the church numerically but spiritually as well.
Church plants—even effective ones—aren’t all the same. Some of those that were surveyed are stronger in particular factors than others. But the majority of church plants with higher than average attendance showed these ten factors in common. And what they revealed should help other church planters avoid mistakes, keep a clear focus, and build churches that make an impact on the lives of those around them.
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